Beer Burgers

Greetings, intrepid Internauts! Welcome to the latest edition of Beer Burgers. Like many of you, occasionally I grow weary of this futuristic computerNet in which we make our homes. Sure, I still jack my cyberdeck into The Matrix every day, and zip from node to node, soaring effortlessly among neon towers of scintillating data. And yes, like all of you, I still force myself ever further into the virtual world, eschewing the crass meat-pleasures of the masses. Indeed, I find that I seek solace in Cyberspace even more now that I find myself a broken, discredited wreck of a man, trapped in this seedy suburb of Neo-Tokyo, where all I see during the day is human wreckage scurrying amongst the ruins of a once-great civilization. It’s no life for a man, eating protein-mush and gazing forever up at the vast, corporate arcologies that dominate the skyline above my seedy coffin motel with their glowing billboards forcing neon coronas into smog that has the color and smell of a McDonald’s hamburger.

Still, for someone as jaded as myself it’s hard to escape the feeling that you’ve seen everything, even here. But then, as always, something happens to make me remember why I became an Internet Ninja in the first place. Something brings back the old joy of Websurfing Like In The Old Days. So here is my gift to you, a collection of links that you can enjoy.

The Most Awesome Headline of All Time. Seriously, kids, bring this in for Current Events Day at school and just totally blow everyones’ minds.

Many years ago, I picked up one of those Left Behind books, and, after reading a few pages, discovered that it was hilariously badly written, and deserved to be held up to universal mockery. Then I promptly forgot about it. Fortunately, Slacktivist has done a far better job than I conceivably could. He dissects the first hundred or so pages of the first book, bringing an insightful, educated, Christian perspective to the book, which explains, in an often hilarious way, just what is so wrong with these people. Start at the bottom and read up. You’ll thank me.

Maakies. Honestly, if you’re reading this, and don’t already know Maakies, you probably can’t handle it. However, if you have a high opinion of your own awesomeness, check it out.

See you in cyberspace!

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 10th, 2005 at 8:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.