One of my favorite things about visiting college campuses and hipster neighborhoods, is seeing how many people still wear those Che Guevara T-shirts. It’s so great to see everyone showing respect for one of the great heroes of our time. He was a hard-core revolutionary. He really stuck it to the man. He fought for the common people, but, tragically, the forces of darkness and repression caught up with him and murdered him. What a tragic story. If only we had some leaders like Che today, we could really change the world.
Still there are a few interesting aspects of Che’s illustrious career as a freedom fighter that not everyone knows, and, since he is one of my favorite symbols of the common peoples’ struggle for liberation, I am going to take this opportunity to discuss some of them.
As a young man, Che traveled the world. He learned powerful lessons about man’s inhumanity to man, and the tragic exploitation of the poor by the rich. This experience affected him so profoundly that he would work to create a Cuba where citizens would be prohibited, both by law and economic necessity, from taking similar trips themselves.
Che fought for equality for all mankind, most notably by participating in the establishment of prison camps where thousands of dangerous enemies of the people, such as homosexuals, and political opponents of Castro would be incarcerated without trial. I think we can all agree that there is nothing worse for the common people than a homosexual who is not behind bars. Now we all know that Che never hesitated to kill his own men in the name of discipline, but did you know that when his old revolutionary comrades pushed for democratization, he heroically sent them to the prison camps, too? Well, those he didn’t have executed, anyway. Truly, he was a man who cared nothing for the individual, at least, not for other individuals.
When he was appointed head of Cuba’s national bank, in 1959 Che heroically refused to compromise and support capitalist principles by learning about finance just because he was in charge of a bank. His refusal to learn even the most basic economic theory led to massive heroic inflation and incalculable heroic damage to Cuba’s economy. His leadership of Cuba’s industrial ministry was a similarly heroic disaster.
After his success in Cuba, Che heroically traveled the world, spreading Communism and insurrection everywhere, heroically leading a grand total of zero successful revolutions in the Congo and Bolivia. Che’s failures were, of course, the fault of imperialists and enemies of the people, and not of his narrowmindedness and incompetence.
But really, when we’re evaluating Communist revolutions, do results matter? Isn’t the heroic failure always easier to cheer for than the sad reality of success? At the end of the day, when we wear our Communist paraphernalia, we are looking to the future, a future where gulags rise again, where political dissidence, real or imagined, is punishable by summary execution, a future where, perhaps, another hundred million corpses will testify to man’s sad, stubborn inability to live up to the high ideals of Marxism.
So, let us all join together in honoring this remarkable man, a man who knew that hatred, repression, and hardline Communism are the only things that will ever save mankind from itself. In his own words: “Hatred is an element of struggle; relentless hatred of the enemy that impels us over and beyond the natural limitations of man and transforms us into effective, violent, selective, and cold killing machines. Our soldiers must be thus; a people without hatred cannot vanquish a brutal enemy.” Truly, these are the words of a great leader, and a great man.
And remember, hip America, the best way to fight for that hardline Communism you love so much is to wear Che’s image on a piece of clothing, so visit The Che Store and show your support today.
